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As heavy metal clamps lock a tailor's shop in place, I realise the times on the sign outside aren't their opening hours: they're arrivals and departure times. The sun is dazzling, the views are breathtaking, and everyone you meet is chattering happily. There's a fair on, and everyone's out in their 1912 Sunday best. Bells chime, children play, locals picnic. Shops, blocks and districts waft wonkily through the air, listing as they cruise in to dock with each other. You get to know Columbia as a tourist: a dazzling dream of an impossible city in an impossible place – tranquil, prosperous and happy. You still spend a lot of time killing things in BioShock Infinite, but it knows when to give you space. Really, it's just a pleasure to have a game this substantial to explore – and one that gives you the breathing room to do so.

So I'm telling you in the hope that you'll still enjoy the process of assembling that wonky jigsaw, without being quite so disappointed when the game itself cuts all the nobbly bits of the pieces so it can cram them together the way it wants to. I think it still would have been, even if a tear had opened in the fabric of spacetime and future alterno-Tom, stroking his goatee, had told me that the plot ultimately doesn't add up. 'You get to know Columbia as a tourist: a dazzling dream of an impossible city in an impossible place – tranquil, prosperous and happy.' That means it can give you little pieces of these puzzles in more interesting ways, and hoovering them up into a wonky jigsaw is a joy. In cheerful contrast to the original BioShock's deep-sea madhouse, the flying city of Columbia is still thriving, still beautiful, and still populated – albeit with magical racists. But I played more like a crazed amnesiac looter, scouring the city for spare change and story clues. Just before completing your order, take a moment to check for coupons and you’ll save even more on bioshock vigors.The intro says you're Booker DeWitt, a private investigator tasked with retrieving a girl named Elizabeth.

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